more weird instant messages

One “side effect” of the time I spent in Africa is a moderately annoying “proposal problem”.  See, to Africans (African men in particular), my white American skin equals a green card.  The vast majority of Africans just really desire to live in the United States, but immigration is much more challenging since 9/11.  The easiest (and sometimes the ONLY) way for them to get legal US residency is to marry a US citizen.

So I can’t even count the number of times I was proposed to while I lived in Africa.  It was pretty ridiculous- I mean, I would take a taxi in to the market, and the taxi driver would propose to me.  I would be talking to a salesman in the market, and the salesman would propose to me.  I was even just propositioned for sex several times!  Like I’m gonna accept a proposal (or a proposition!!) on the spot like that.  Not to mention I have NO DESIRE to marry an African man.  It’s not a racial thing- it’s more like, I am not interested in marriage anyway, and there’s a huge socioeconomic difference, and the whole immigration thing is huge hassle (I have a relative who married a foreign citizen, so I know just what a challenge it is!), and most of all I really don’t want to marry a guy who first proposes to me like that before we’ve even been out on a date!

Since I left Africa, I still occasionally get a message via Facebook or instant messaging from an African who wants to get married.  They are a little more sneaky than the taxi drivers or salesmen, but their desires are pretty thinly veiled.  Another issue with these men is that most of them work with or are in some way associated with the organization I worked for in Africa.  In retrospect, I believe that organization just might be a cult.  So of course I have no desire to return to that organization or to marry someone who works for that organization.

Below you’ll see the transcript of the instant messages I’ve had with the latest African man for the past several days, along with my thoughts throughout this conversation.  He’ll lose interest eventually (they all do) but in the meantime he is instant messaging me every time he finds me online.  I changed his name because- well, because I’m just a really nice person.

huh? first of all what’s a Bible vace, and second of all… huh?

[14:56] Melinda Musil: what do you mean?
[14:57] Ammon: so how do you dress up
[14:57] Melinda Musil: what do you mean?
[14:58] Ammon: your dress

I really, really hope your English is just really bad.  Otherwise you sound like a pedophile… and that’s just creepy.

[14:58] Melinda Musil: Do you mean, what kind of clothes do we wear in america?
[14:58] Ammon: yes
[14:59] Melinda Musil: men dress about the same as the men i saw in africa
[14:59] Melinda Musil: but the women also wear more jeans and tshirts
[15:00] Ammon: i was telling some frienrs about you today but they dont know you

why would they know me?

[15:00] Melinda Musil: i’m not surprised since it has been so long since i was there
[15:00] Melinda Musil: who were u talking to?
[15:00] Ammon: that is good
[15:01] Ammon: you also dont know them, they are new
[15:01] Melinda Musil: Probably true
[15:02] Melinda Musil: what were you asking earlier about the Bible?
[15:03] Ammon: do you work every day 7 days a week
[15:03] Melinda Musil: It varies, but lately yes it has been 7 days a week
[15:04] Melinda Musil: this summer has been very busy for me
[15:04] Ammon: i just want you to give one vase that i will go to bed with

a vase? please clarify!

[15:05] Melinda Musil: ok
[15:05] Melinda Musil: what do u mean?
[15:06] Ammon: will you like to visit my country when you have a holiday

1. I can’t afford to travel to your country. 2. I have no desire to travel to your country- I’ve been there and I would prefer to go places I have NOT visited already. 3. You can’t possibly think I would fly to Africa to visit a man I have been chatting with for 15 MINUTES!!!

[15:07] Ammon: i mean one chapter

You want me to tell you a chapter of the Bible that you can think about while you are going to bed?  First of all, the whole book is good.  Second of all, that’s… weird.

[15:07] Melinda Musil: that’s very flattering, but I am already committed to visiting other places for the next year, and I can’t afford another trip to Africa for quite awhile
[15:07] Melinda Musil: pick any chapter, they are all good
[15:08] Ammon: i would like to see you again
[15:08] Ammon: just give me what you think
[15:09] Melinda Musil: I think they are all good. i am in between studies right now and cant pick just one
[15:10] Ammon: so when do you think i will see you

We have been talking for 19 minutes.  How about… never?

[15:10] Melinda Musil: I am flattered that you want to see me, but like I said, I can’t visit Africa again right now.
[15:10] Melinda Musil: I don’t know. when will you be in the United States?
[15:11] Ammon: i cant come to the US onles you invite me
[15:12] Melinda Musil: Yes you can, you just need to apply for a visa
[15:13] Melinda Musil: with ICE
[15:13] Ammon: so which where are you going to visit

I’m not.

[15:13] Melinda Musil: I don’t know
[15:13] Melinda Musil: it just depends on my business and where that takes me
[15:14] Ammon: what is ICE?
[15:14] Melinda Musil: US Immigrations and Customs Enforcement
[15:15] Ammon: so would you like to invite me to come visit you

noooo….

[15:16] Melinda Musil: you do not need an invitation. you just need to apply for a visa
[15:16] Melinda Musil: also I do not have the time or money to deal with ICE

True.  I don’t.  The government is messy and I would need a pretty strong reason to deal with that.

[15:18] Ammon: to come to your country is not very easy since 911
[15:18] Melinda Musil: I know
[15:18] Melinda Musil: we have many enemies
[15:19] Ammon: i do need an invitation by a US citizine
[15:20] Melinda Musil: i do not know you well enough to invite you

I don’t know you.  Seriously, if you want to come to the US, if you need an invitation, there are 3 million other gullible citizens, and hopefully you know one of them better than me.  Ask one of them.

[15:21] Ammon: how well do want to know me

well, I would like to know you longer than 30 minutes. how about that?

[15:22] Melinda Musil: it would take a lot more than a couple of online conversations
[15:23] Ammon: then come to vesit me when ever you have chance and spend some time with me

um, no.

[15:23] Melinda Musil: Be patient
[15:23] Melinda Musil: I already have many commitments. those are more important to me than a visit to africa.
[15:24] Ammon: I also dont know you very well but i trust in God

I trust in God too.  I also believe God does not want me to max out my credit cards so I can fly to Africa to meet and become involved with a guy I’ve known for 33 minutes.

[15:25] Melinda Musil: i trust in God too. but trusting God has nothing to do with visiting Africa.
[15:26] Melinda Musil: Unless and until God calls me to travel there, I will not
[15:27] Ammon: yes is true but there is no way we can know each without visiting each other

There are many ways we could get to know each other without visiting each other, and besides, we are NOT going to get to know each other in the way you want to get to know me.  Period.

[15:28] Melinda Musil: Do you think you are wiser than God?
[15:28] Melinda Musil: do you think that I should visit africa even though God says i shouldn’t?

Since that’s what you are saying- that I need to visit you regardless of whatever God is telling me- please clarify.

[15:28] Ammon: no
[15:29] Melinda Musil: Okay. then be patient.
[15:29] Melinda Musil: wait on God’s timing.
[15:30] Ammon: you are right, i just want to know you beter
[15:30] Ammon: God time is the best
[15:31] Melinda Musil: be patient, things like that don’t happen overnight
[15:33] Ammon: yes i know, i am trying to eb a friend and a good one
[15:34] Ammon: I know you are good girl

what am I, a dog?

[15:34] Melinda Musil: thx
[15:35] Ammon: is it posible I talk to on a phone

not on your life!

[15:36] Melinda Musil: probably not, since i do not maintain a regular telephone connection

except my cell phone, but I pay for that by the minute, and NO WAY am I going to pay for international calls.

[15:38] Ammon: i am hungry, please con i go an have some food

you need my permission to eat?

[15:38] Melinda Musil: of course
[15:38] Melinda Musil: i have some errands to run anyway
[15:39] Ammon: i will talk to you later

well gee, I’m glad you approve.

[21:44] Melinda Musil: ??
[21:45] Ammon: so what did you eat today

why do you want to know what I ate?

[21:45] Melinda Musil: food
[21:46] Melinda Musil: omelet for breakfast, pasta for supper, and i went out to lunch
[21:47] Ammon: I had African food for lunch and diner
[21:48] Melinda Musil: that’s not a surprise
[21:48] Melinda Musil: it makes sense, there is not quite as much culinary selection in africa
[21:50] Ammon: do you think you can live African food for some time ?
[21:51] Melinda Musil: if I had to I would. if I lived in africa again or whatever.

ugh.  I’ve had african food.  if I was ever in a situation where that was my only choice, I would eat it, but ew, I would much prefer to eat food that has flavor.

[21:52] Ammon: have you had some before
[21:53] Melinda Musil: yea
[21:53] Melinda Musil: hey i need to go
[21:53] Melinda Musil: ttyl
[21:54] Ammon: bye

dear? Seriously, isn’t it a bit early for pet names?

[13:56] Melinda Musil: hello
[13:57] Ammon: you OK
[13:57] Melinda Musil: yes i am fine
[13:58] Ammon: I am also doing fine
[13:58] Melinda Musil: that is good
[13:59] Ammon: what have you been doing today?
[13:59] Melinda Musil: ran some errands
[13:59] Melinda Musil: and communicating w/ (a corporation that I cannot yet reveal online)
[14:01] Ammon: is like you communicate alot for the day
[14:02] Melinda Musil: well I have recently been discussing doing some reviews for (that aforementioned company)
[14:03] Melinda Musil: i talk to a lot of companies since i work in marketing
[14:04] Ammon: I can see that you are a very busy woman which is good
[14:05] Ammon: I like to be busy too
[14:06] Melinda Musil: i do what i need to do
[14:07] Ammon: that is nice
[14:16] Ammon: are you still there?
[14:16] Melinda Musil: yes
[14:16] Melinda Musil: i am just updating a few websites
[14:18] Ammon: so let me leave you to do your work
[14:20] Melinda Musil: whatever you want
[14:27] Ammon: I thought you too busy
[14:28] Melinda Musil: i work at home. i’m used to chatting online all day while i work.
[14:31] Ammon: OK now i understand
[14:32] Melinda Musil: ??
[14:34] Ammon: what do you mean by this,??
[14:35] Melinda Musil: what do you understand?
[14:36] Ammon: ??
[14:36] Melinda Musil: you said now i understand
[14:36] Melinda Musil: what do you understand?
[14:37] Ammon: that you work at home
[14:39] Melinda Musil: yes
[14:39] Melinda Musil: I am self employed. i have to work a lot but i get to work from home.
[14:43] Ammon: that is easy you dont have to worry about getting late
[14:44] Melinda Musil: it depends on how you look at it
[14:49] Ammon: I would like to have my work shop at my home in the future
[14:49] Melinda Musil: welll, it’s nice to work at home, but it’s a lot of work
[14:49] Melinda Musil: it’s a big commitment
[14:51] Ammon: that is true
[14:52] Melinda Musil: It also takes a lot of discipline. It works for me but I know other people who couldn’t do it.
[14:54] Ammon: I think is because you are good christian

you are NOT saying that being a Christian means you can work at home.  I know lots of great Christians who just don’t have the personality to work at home.  Seriously dude, don’t push it.

[14:54] Melinda Musil: Baloney. being a Christian has nothing to do with being able to work at home.
[14:55] Melinda Musil: My sister is at least as much of a Christian as me, but she couldn’t do it.
[14:57] Ammon: then you are hard working and faithful
[14:58] Melinda Musil: Again, being hard working and faithful has nothing to do with working at home OR being a Christian…
[14:58] Melinda Musil: I am hard working. I know other people who are employed by someone else and work at least as hard as I do.
[14:59] Melinda Musil: Working at home just works for me. It doesn’t work for everyone. All that means is that we are all different.
[15:00] Ammon: now I get you, thanks

is it cruel that I am entertained by your pathetic ideas?